The-Motherhood Archives

The Art Of Taking Road Trips With A Toddler

by Sarah Jividen | Dec 20, 2017 | Family Time, Mom Tips & Tricks, The-Motherhood, Toddler Life

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We have had a lot of driving experience with our toddler on long road trips over the past year-and-a half. Our closest family members live in Sacramento which, with a toddler in tow, is about an eight hour drive from our LA beach community. We have pretty much been-there-done-that with every single tip ever mentioned on how to make road tripping easier when you’re toting a toddler along.

Having made that lengthy drive over a half dozen times you would think we would be experts at toddler travel by now. After all, how many learning opportunities does one need to figure that out?

Yet, road tripping with our toddler remains a constant learning experience for us. This week was no exception as our family trekked eight hours from El Segundo to Tomales Bay located on the Northern California Pacific Coast for a well-needed vacation.

Stinton Beach, CA (population 578). The best part of taking road trips is stopping at new locations along the way that you never would have seen otherwise. Zoe was happy for the opportunity to run around for a while.

As I have some depth of experience in the road-trip-with-a-toddler department, I thought for sure I would use my expertise to make this excursion particularly easy. After all, I have read about all the tricks by now: travel during baby sleep times, pack for every situation (terrible advice, boo!), make frequent stops at parks, bring lots of toys, be sure to have baggies/wipes/finger foods, yada yada yada.

My confidence had me dreaming of writing a post after our trip titled “how I mastered long-distance travel with a toddler without going crazy” or “how we helped our daughter love long distance road trips, and you can too.”

A Mom can dream, right?

Yet, once again I realized mid-way up the coast that traveling with a toddler can be messy, frustrating, and even intolerable even with the most thoughtful preparation and experience.

Toddlers are going through their very own developmental stages.

Toddler’s little bodies are immature and aren’t supposed to “sit still” for any amount of time, much less an eight hour car ride. In addition, they have under-developed communication skills to express their needs, which can lead to complete toddler meltdown on the highway (or anywhere for that matter).

This got me to thinking…

Is the key to mastering long distance travel with a toddler really just about understanding where they are in their current developmental stage? Is my job to better understand my toddler as a little, evolving human being? Do I need to adjust my expectations a little? Hmmm, maybe.

I continued to learn, even during this trip, that part of mastering toddler travel is about learning how to be a little more malleable with our daughter. Especially when she is acting exactly like, well, a toddler.

There are going to be meltdowns in between all the adorable, precious, little girl moments. That is how toddlers express themselves when they are upset and don’t have the vocabulary to communicate their frustrations. In addition, they are programmed to push their boundaries and it is our job as parents to learn how to productively handle each situation as we go along.

Tomales Bay, Ca. The long drive was totally worth the vacation. We got to hike almost everyday. If you look closely to John’s right you can see a line of large adult seals!

The final drive back home: something amazing happened!

On our last day we planned on getting up at 5am to start the dreadful trek back down the I-5 to Los Angeles County (not the amazing part). We wanted to get the drive out of the way as soon as possible. But, like many aspects of parenthood, things didn’t exactly start as we had anticipated.

Our (normally) great little sleeper decided she wanted to get up at 2:30am instead. After about 45 minutes of tears (I guess she was ready to go home?), my husband and I decided it would be better to just go ahead and start our travels. So we got ready and left by 3:30am instead.

You are probably wondering what the amazing part is, right? Well, I’m excited to say that Zoe did wonderfully and was content pretty much the entire way home! There were minimal tears and we only had to stop twice during the entire trip. It was a road trip miracle!

With a little help from Mom and Dad, she really handled the drive like a champ. And because we left so early in the morning we were home by noon. It is possible that I actually mastered the art of road tripping with a toddler after all?

Well, I’m not so sure about that. But I do think we made great progress. We did learn a few more things during this drive home.

Helpful Ideas For Long Distance Road Tripping With A Toddler:

To be clear, these tips may not be for everyone. Every toddler, and every trip, can be a different experience. These are just a few suggestions that worked for us. Here are my best ideas for surviving long distance road travel with a toddler in tow.

1. Travel during sleep times

This one is the big winner! If you can drive at night or at least during a long nap time it is so helpful. A sleeping toddler is a content toddler. One of the reasons I think our recent road trip went so well is that our toddler was able to sleep for about 3.5 hours during the start of our trip (we did leave at 3:30am after all). That got a large portion of our drive time out of the way right off the bat.

2. Don’t over pack

Trying to pack light for vacation in a Prius

This was everything we packed for one week of travel. I made an exception for my yoga mat and I’m so glad I did. I used it almost everyday (there are some things you just have to make an exception for!).

I hear all the time that “when you have kids you have to bring so much stuff everywhere!” I emphatically disagree with this one. Packing light is so much easier and can actually make a trip less hectic and stressful: there is less stuff to pack/repack, take care of, store, and its feels so much better to not feel like you are carrying around your house.

Many things that get packed “just in case” never even get used and just end up getting hauled around pointlessly. You don’t have to schlep everything from home. See if the hotel can offer a crib. Buy food for the kitchenette when you get there. When packing ask yourself “is this something I really need on this vacation?”

I brought just enough clothes for myself and our daughter with the intention of doing a load of laundry at the hotel if necessary (it wasn’t). We also brought an umbrella stroller instead of the larger one we normally use.

Traveling is just easier with less stuff. It’s true that Zoe could possibly need her winter boots and coat. It can be on the cooler side on the northern California Pacific coast. But in August? Not likely that she will need them.

3. Have one adult sit in the back if possible

I sit in the back with Zoe during most of the drive (I stay in the front when she is sleeping). That way we can spend a little one-on-one time together and I can try to help sooth her before she starts to have a meltdown. I have gotten in the habit of making space for myself and whatever I think I may need in the back seat for the drive.

4. Sing and talk frequently

Did you know that a new study shows that babies’ pain levels are actually decreased when they are sung to? A London University found that children waiting for surgeries actually had a reduction in pain and heart rate after being sung lullabies.

Road trips are not actually painful, of course. But I have found that Zoe will pay close attention to my every word when I sing to her. She listens intently, quietly. It’s like I’m doing something amazing, and I’m a terrible singer! I’m probably driving my husband nuts but our kid seems to be enjoying it, so why the heck not?

Our toddler gets the benefit of learning new songs and staying engaged during the drive. I think it makes her happy too. To boot, it minimizes screaming child road rage so I see this as a win-win for everyone.

5. Keep a calm voice (especially during a meltdown).

My husband and I have found that the more calm we are when Zoe is upset, the less upset she gets and the better she is able to deal with her frustration. Our kids learn how to handle stressful situations by how we handle them.

Dr Sears, parenting expert, says that “an angry parent often leads to and even angrier child.” Being in an angry state clouds your thinking and can leave everyone feeling a bit abused. A temper tantrum from us won’t make the drive easier and it will make it more miserable.

I try to think of ways to get our daughter to laugh when I can see she is getting frustrated. Right now she is really into making noises with her mouth, and she thinks its so funny when Mom or Dad makes funny noises with her. Laughter can really be the best medicine for an angry child.

6. If all else fails, bring two sets of ear plugs and do the best you can. Or just pull over and find a neighborhood park.

We found this park on our way back from Muir Woods during our trip. Zoe met a new friend and we got an opportunity to explore a new, small beach community.

Seriously, if all else fails and the crying seams endless, nothing beats a good pair of earplugs. I’m not saying that you should ignore your child by any means! You can still hear everything and you can continue to help sooth your child. It just helps a little until you can get your bearings again (and helps minimize a pounding headache).

Or if you reach a point where you just can’t take it for another second, just pull over and find a park or a long stretch of grass. There have been a ton of studies that show that being in green grass can relieve stress and make you feel better. Getting out for some fresh air and a little nature will do everybody a little good.

I realize that not every drive will as good as our most recent one, but I do think we are on to something good here. Practice makes perfect, so I guess we will just have to plan another road trip soon!

Southern California is such a great place to live partly because there are so many amazing places we can vacation to via highway. Since our family will soon be expanding even more (we’ve got a baby boy on the way!) we have to adjust our vacation plans to accommodate our little nomads.

Next on our road trip travel list: The Grand Canyon!!

Sarah, Mother Nurse Love

Psst! Toddler backpack carriers are so great to have on an active vacation. Check out theses super cool ones!

Why I Opened An Email Account To Send My Daughter Letters

by Sarah Jividen | Dec 19, 2017 | The-Motherhood, Toddler Life

In the sleepless daze of my daughter’s first few months of life I opened an email account for her and I truly believe it is one of the most genius ideas I have ever had as a new Mom.

My intention for creating the email account: capturing our family’s real-time life events and current world happenings for our daughter’s future reading pleasure. I have optimistically wondered, could this possibly encourage future dinner time discussions with our daughter during her teenage years when she wants nothing to do with us?

Maybe that’s a little too optimistic, but at the very least maybe it is a good way for her to someday understand her parents a little better.

Kids think that hearing about their parents past lives are cool.

Our children will get to read about how much we enjoyed going to music venues in Los Angeles (after we put them to sleep!).

Have you ever wondered what was going on in your parent’s lives when you were just a baby? What was the political environment like? What were the major life events going on at the time? How was the day-to-day living and what kind of things were your parents into doing for f

Sure, you could ask them when you’re old enough to think about it. But so much information gets lost and forgotten in the abyss of time.

Email letters are our way of giving our daughter a connection to her (and our) past lives.

The first years of our daughter’s life have been turbulent as far as current events go and yet simultaneously such an amazing time to be alive. My goals are to share some history and give her an idea about how I and her father felt about the current events going on in the world.

Growing up I would’ve loved to read letters about exactly what was going through my parent’s heads the day John Lennon or President Regan were shot, for example. Or, how cool did they think Micheal Jackson was when Thriller was released? Or even, what was it like when the Challenger exploded?

I have asked some of these questions and many others and I sort-of know how they feel about some of those things now. But it’s not the same thing as reading about things that were written in real time. Memories fade and feelings can change over time.

Benefits to opening an email account to send your child letters throughout their childhoods:

Give real-time information with a date and a time stamp
Have an opportunity to write diary-like letters
Get letters from both Mom and Dad
Talk about milestones they are reaching and how incredibly awesome they are
Communicate about current events and attach news articles
Write at anytime of the day or night without having to keep track of papers (God knows I don’t need any more paperwork around!)
Grandma and grandpa or other family/ friends can write (if you choose to give them the address)
Attach photos of them or projects/artwork they created
Write about anything you feel like sharing at the time.

This email account is for us to send letters to our children.

My sole purpose for creating this email account is so my husband and I can send our daughter letters throughout her childhood. We will open another for our son after he is born so we can do the same for him.

Warning: I have read that opening a gmail account for your child to use for themselves when they’re older violates their terms of service. It could even result in the closing of the account.

Sending my daughter emails for her to open some day is like giving her a modern day “time capsule” of information.

About once or twice a month I’ll send her a new email. I talk to her about whatever I feel like talking about at the time. For example, I tell her how amazing she is, what current events are happening in the world today, or how she’s going to get a new little brother soon (yay!).

Email writing is so easy to do, but sometimes hard to remember in the business of parental life. So I make a point of putting a monthly reminder in my phone at least once a month to send her a new email.

It will be fun for her to read some day but I secretly think it will be really fun for her Dad and me too. And who knows, maybe it will make for some really great conversations at the dinner table someday too!

Sarah, Mother Nurse Love

An RN Mother on Healthcare, Nurse Life and Family

by Sarah Jividen | Dec 15, 2017 | Nurse Life, The-Motherhood

Hello, I’m Sarah, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Thank you for joining me on my inaugural blog post!

Embarking on this blogging adventure feels like setting sail in the vast ocean of writing. I have a multitude of topics I’m eager to discuss, and I yearn for a creative outlet to share my passions: motherhood, my experiences as an RN, preventive healthcare, infants, child safety, my love for yoga, and anything else related to healthcare. It’s not a narrow niche, but for now, I’ll let my heart guide my writing.

My First Love: Journalism

Back in the day at Chico State, I pursued a major in Journalism and blossomed as a budding writer with a weekly column in our student newspaper, The Orion. However, shortly after graduating, I realized that newspaper writing wasn’t my calling. I made a complete shift in plans and entered the field of medical device sales.

For nine exhilarating years, I witnessed various surgeries and tirelessly marketed medical equipment to operating rooms along the West Coast. Weekly travel became routine, and during that period, I probably spent the equivalent of several years living out of hotel rooms.

Over time, this grueling lifestyle left me thoroughly burned out and desperate for change. Unfortunately, my resume pigeonholed me as a salesperson, limiting my options.

Christmas circa 2016, Roseville, CA. RN, Mom.

From Corporate Sales Exec to BSN Student

A longing for greater clinical medical knowledge and the desire to be a better human lead me to go back to college and earn my Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN). To say this was a challenge is an understatement. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life!

Leaving a high-paying job to go back to school for three years to come out with a lower-paying job is not the most financially wise choice. However, it did make me a lot happier in the long run. Following my passion for healthcare has been one of the greatest life changes I have ever made.

This was taken during my pediatric rotation at Kaiser West Los Angeles. I was such a newbie nurse!

I Began My New Career as a Registered Nurse

Shortly after graduation, I joined the RN residency program at UCLA Medical Center, specializing in the Neuroscience and Stroke unit. A few years later, I obtained certification as a Stroke Certified Registered Nurse and began mentoring other new graduates in my unit.

In 2015, I completed the Yoga Works Urban Zen Practitioner Program at UCLA. This program aimed to help nurses provide holistic care by integrating Eastern and Western approaches. I delved deeper into some of my favorite things: yoga, in-bed yoga movements, guided meditation, essential oils, and Reiki. It was an incredible learning experience that fundamentally transformed the way I deliver care to my patients.

From Neuro/Trauma to ER Nurse

In early 2017, I was accepted into an RN training program in the Emergency Room. It’s an intense, challenging, and exhausting environment, and I absolutely love it! It’s certainly not for the faint of heart. My skills have been pushed to the limit, and I can confidently say that I excel at difficult IV starts. That’s what happens when you initiate five or more IVs in a single day!

Being a Nurse Means Constant Learning

I dabbled in the medspa industry for about eight months as a side gig because I thought it was a career I was interested in. I became certified to use various lasers (IPL, hair removal) and also got certified to give injectables (Botox, Juvederm, etc..). It was fun for a while, but I ultimately decided to stay full-time at the hospital because I am way more passionate about the clinical side of nursing.

There were “perks” to being in the Medspa industry that I liked, like free injectables and free skincare products. Eventually, though, I realized that wasn’t a good enough reason to leave the hospital, and I didn’t love the work.

Nursing school helped me foster this passion and gave me a solid foundation for understanding health and the human body. I do my best to stay up to date on current healthcare and nutritional studies, and I try to be a good educational resource for my patients and family.

The stress of my first career lead me to search for ways to better care for myself. I started practicing yoga and meditation regularly, and it has remained a happy habit for over a decade. Now I incorporate it into my daily life and don’t know where I would be without it. There are a lot of things I practice at home to keep myself and my family healthy that I am excited to share on this blog.

Newest Job Title: RN Mom

On Halloween morning in 2015, my husband and I welcomed our daughter, Zoe, into the world. She is a spunky, sweet, and smart little lady who has changed our lives for the better. I apologize in advance for the ridiculous amount of baby photos that I am sure I will post in the future.

Zoe made her arrival seven weeks early due to a very rare and dangerous condition I got when I was 33 weeks pregnant called a placental abruption. In short, the placenta (lifeline from mom to baby) that was giving Zoe blood, oxygen, and nutrients suddenly disconnected from my uterus. This caused me to hemorrhage internally instead of delivering blood to where it should have been going- to Zoe!

Luckily right as it was happening, I was feeling terrible, and my husband had taken me to the hospital to get checked out. I was lucky to be there in the nick of time to have an emergency c-section. My doctors informed me that babies don’t usually survive placental abruptions, and we are forever grateful.

Zoe is our miracle baby, and we thank our lucky stars for her every single day. There is no better gift than the gift of a healthy baby!

Our very early days as new parents.

I have a few goals in this writing journey: explore the awesomeness and insanity of motherhood while trying to balance a career as a nurse, nurture a happy marriage, foster friendships, and continue to learn and share healthcare information—basically, all the lifestyle things I love.

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