by Sarah Jividen | Dec 21, 2017 | Pregnancy, The-Motherhood
Feeling your baby move can be one of the most exciting parts of a pregnancy. Its nice to have some confirmation that there is actually a tiny human in there!
But did you know that counting your baby’s kicks can help make sure they are healthy and possibly even prevent a tragedy?
There is strong evidence that counting fetal movements can reduce perinatal mortality in pregnancy.
Doing kick counts actually saved our baby girl’s life. If I hadn’t done them I wouldn’t have suspected that there was something terribly wrong and I wouldn’t have gone into the hospital.
When do moms start feeling fetal movements?
According to the American Pregnancy Organization you should start to feel some fetal movement between 18-25 weeks into pregnancy. For first-time moms, it may occur closer to 25 weeks, and for second or third-time moms, it may occur closer to 18 weeks or even a little earlier.
Why are fetal kick counts important?
Our daughter was not moving as much while doing fetal kick counts during my first pregnancy. Intervention at that time was life saving.
Doctors only see moms every two to four weeks. According to Dr. Diep Nguyen, a Los Angeles OB/GYN “fetal movement is the best indicator of pregnancy health and is the best yardstick in between those times. If the baby is not growing well, it probably will slow down its activity way before it will stop moving all together.”
My own OB/GYN has expressed the same information to me. Especially ever since my placental abruption during my first pregnancy at 33 weeks.
Now that I am due in January with our baby boy, there is a part of me that is afraid that some sort of catastrophe could happen again. But I am doing daily kick counts and I am reassured that our baby boy is kicking quite frequently. If for some reason he slows down or stops I know to go right to the hospital to have things checked out.
When will I feel the most movement?
Moms generally find that the baby is most active between the hours of 9pm and 1am due to declining blood sugar levels. You my also feel more fetal movement after meals or eating sugary foods.
I have always felt that it is easier to feel the baby move when I lay down and pay closer attention. It is also a nice time for baby bonding and just getting some well-deserved mommy rest. When I am busy and moving around a lot it is harder to pay attention to what is going on inside my uterus.
How should kick counts been done?
The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that you time how long it takes you to feel 10 kicks, flutters, swishes, or rolls. Ideally, you want to feel at least 10 movements within 2 hours. You will likely feel 10 movements in less time than that.
How to do kick counts:
1. Lay on your left side.
2. Count how many minutes it takes for you to feel 10 fetal movements (once you get to ten you can stop counting).
3. Do this once a day around the same time. I do it right before bedtime when my daughter is already asleep so I am not interrupted.
Charting fetal kick counts
There are dozens of kick count apps to choose from, but this is the one I use.
You can use a calendar chart to document how many minutes it takes for you to feel 10 fetal movements. If your baby does not move at least 10 times in 2 hours or there is a sudden decrease in movement, you should contact your doctor right away.
There are dozens of fetal kick count apps available to make this even easier.
Having an app makes it so much easier. You can just set the time that you want to start doing kick counts and then tap on the phone each time you feel a kick. When you get to 10 kicks, the app tells you that you are done and records the total amount of time it took. The app also records the history of all your kick counting sessions so it is easy to review and see if there have been any decreases in activity.
Kick counting is an easy way to monitor baby’s well being in the womb.
Timely intervention after a mother complained of decreased fetal movements and the baby was found to be compromised on further evaluation has helped save many babies. I know from first hand experience that doing fetal kick counts can help divert a catastrophic event. It is always better to be safe then sorry!
Happy (and safe) pregnancy and thank you for reading!
Sarah, Mother Nurse Love
by Sarah Jividen | Dec 21, 2017 | Pregnancy, The-Motherhood
I had a spontaneous placental abruption when I was 33 weeks pregnant with my daughter.
A placental abruption occurs when the placenta (the lifeline delivering blood, oxygen and nutrients to our baby) peels away from the uterus. It deprives the fetus of oxygen and causes the mother to hemorrhage internally.
Luckily for us, I was able to have an early emergency c-section and we had a very happy outcome. After spending some time in the NICU our 33 week preemie daughter came home with us as a healthy 4 lb, 3 oz baby.
At my baby shower, one week before I had our daughter via emergency c-section at 33 weeks.
But it almost didn’t end up that way. Unfortunately, most mothers who have a placental abruption are not so lucky, according to our neonatologist. The reason, he said, is that babies end up being deprived of oxygen, sometimes within seconds. Mothers also end up losing a lot of blood, although they usually do better then the babies.
We still don’t know why it happened because I had no risk factors. Thankfully, I was able to have an emergency C-section in time and it was life-saving for the both of us.
I got the flu about 5 days before the placental abruption occurred.
As a nurse I already knew that just being sick doesn’t hurt the baby and may even give her a few extra antibodies. I decided the best thing to do was rest and drink lots of fluids.
But to my surprise, two days later I was feeling so much worse.
I called the OB floor at our hospital and was directed to an advice nurse.
After a 30 minute phone interview I was told NOT to come to the hospital as there was nothing they could do for me. I just had the flu, they said. I was told to stay home, rest and drink lots of fluids.
Two days after that I felt even worse! So again, I called the OB unit at the hospital to see what I should do.
I spoke with both the on-call OBGYN on the unit and another advise nurse. Both told me again NOT to come in. I explained that I was extremely weak and short of breath when walking more then 20 feet. I had no fever but I had never felt more sick in my life. They told me I just had the flu and needed to “ride it out.”
I laid in my bed and cried for 30 minutes because every inch of my body was hurting so much that I could barely stand it anymore. I had a hard time catching my breath.
(Later we found out that the reason I felt so horrible was that my hemoglobin was extraordinarily low due to the placental abruption already having started. My hemoglobin (the oxygen carrying component of a blood cell) at that time was 6 grams per deciliter. The normal level is 12.0 to 15.5 grams.)
I laid down for an hour and started doing “kick counts.”
The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that you time how long it takes you to feel 10 kicks, flutters, swishes, or rolls. Ideally, you want to feel at least 10 movements within 2 hours. Usually a mom can feel 10 movements in less time than that.
But I only felt 4 or 5 movements in that hour period. My body was so sick and achy though that I wasn’t sure exactly what I was feeling, so I drank two large glasses of orange juice and ate a small bag of gummy Lifesavers. I was determined to sugar-shock my baby into giving me more fetal movements.
I began counting kicks for a second hour. But after about 40 minutes I still only counted about 3-4 pretty weak kicks. At that point I decided I wanted to see a doctor, even if they thought I was overreacting.
I called my husband and asked him to come home and drive me to the hospital.
When we arrived at the labor and delivery unit I was immediately given a mask and asked why I came to the hospital after I was specifically told not to. I was reminded that I was bringing my flu into the hospital.
I tried to explain again that I just didn’t feel right and that I thought the baby should be kicking more. They put me in a room and we waited for the on-call OBGYN.
When she arrived she did an ultrasound and was immediately concerned. She explained that:
A) I had almost no amniotic fluid.
B) The little amount of amniotic fluid that was there was the wrong color and she couldn’t explain why.
C) Our baby’s fetal heart rate was “not reassuring” which is another way of saying that our baby is alive but in distress.
D) It was likely I would have an emergency C-section imminently.
She didn’t know at that time I was actually having a placental abruption. Apparently it is very hard to diagnose on ultrasound.
(We later found out that the amniotic fluid was showing as the wrong color because it was actually blood, not amniotic fluid. I had already been bleeding into my uterus and our daughter was swallowing blood the whole time. After the C-section they pumped 15 cc’s of blood out of our daughter’s stomach and she pooped blood for the next few days.)
A team of preemie doctors came in to prepare us.
After finding out that a c-section was imminent, a team of preemie doctors came in to prepare us for what to expect after Zoe was born.
The preemie MDs explained in detail what would most likely happen to our daughter since she was coming out 7 weeks early. They said it was likely that our daughter would not be able to breathe on her own and that she would need to be intubated (using a machine that breathes for her). It the case that my baby didn’t cry after delivery, they wanted to make sure I was prepared for that possibility.
We were also told to prepare for 30 days in the NICU, which was the average length of stay for a “33 weeker.”
Within a few hours things got much worse.
Soon, I started hemorrhaging and was having what felt like one long contraction that wouldn’t stop.
Our OB determined that I was not actually in labor as my cervix was completely closed. She thought it was best to take the baby out right then because something was very wrong, but she didn’t know exactly what yet. I was wheeled across the hall for the emergency C-section.
Our daughter, Zoe Grace, was born.
Zoe came out at 4 pounds, 3 ounces. After being suctioned, she let out a tiny little cry that I will never forget. It was the best and most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life.
The doctor was able to confirm during the c-section that I had a placental abruption. My placenta was 30% detached from my uterus.
The next day our neonatologist told us that Zoe had no signs of brain damage and we had a “very healthy baby considering the circumstances.”
He then let me know bluntly, and in no censored way that “babies born after a placental abruption usually don’t survive and the mothers don’t do that well either, although they do better then the babies.”
It was hard to have our baby in the NICU, but we were so grateful for the excellent care she received.
It was hard to have my baby in the NICU but we were so grateful for the excellent care she received.
The first time we saw her we were shocked. She was in an incubator hooked up to so many IV’s and tubes, and so tiny.
I wasn’t allowed to hold her yet. That part was so hard! But I could put my hands in the incubator and place one hand on the top of her head and one her feet. I remember telling her how proud we were of her. She was a tough baby right from the start.
Zoe had an oral-gastric feeding tube for nutrition since she was unable to eat for the first 7 days on her own. I would pump breast milk and give it to the nurses so they could feed her through the OG tube.
She was also receiving TPN (IV nutrition) and lipids (fats) through 2 IV lines. That was probably the most difficult part to watch- preemies veins are so tiny that it would often take an hour of poking to get the IV in. And they didn’t last very long so she was constantly being stuck with needles.
She was on oxygen and a cpap machine for the first week to help her continue breathing on her own. Since she also was very jaundiced, she had to be under a bilirubin light for 5 days.
Zoe got a little stronger every day.
As a preemie Zoe earned the nickname “tiny but mighty” from her doctors. This was taken during week two in the NICU.
Zoe started doing more on her own, like eating through a preemie nipple and no longer needing the IV nutrition.
We were shocked on our 9th day in the NICU when we were informed that Zoe would be discharged the next day. I knew she was doing well but we were told that due to her stage of prematurity that she would stay for at least a month. She was so tiny I couldn’t believe they were letting us take her home.
My experience taught me a few things…
A) Mothers need to trust their instincts. We know much more then we give ourselves credit for.
B) At 28 weeks gestation it is important to start doing fetal kick counts.
C) It is so important to be grateful for the miracle of having a child.
I can’t imagine what my life would be like now if I hadn’t gone into the hospital that evening, especially after being instructed not to. It is so important to trust your instincts!
I am so blessed that I get to be a mom. Not everyone gets to have healthy baby, or a baby at all for that matter. Whenever I find myself getting frustrated with the difficulties that come with parenthood, I think about how close we were to not getting to have Zoe at all. That puts it all into perspective for me.
Zoe, 2 years old. Spunky, hammy and giggling as usual.
Our daughter turned two today. And we are so grateful everyday for her presence in our lives.
Thank you for reading!
Sarah, Mother Nurse Love
by Sarah Jividen | Dec 20, 2017 | Pregnancy, The-Motherhood
I had an appointment with my OB two weeks ago and everything appears to be progressing normally with my pregnancy (thank goodness!).
However, I did have one tiny little scare. When looking at the screen I noticed that our baby was measuring at about 26 weeks, which totally freaked me out since I was 28 weeks.
When I brought it up to my doctor she said “No, everything looks great and you are 26 weeks.” To which I responded: “but I’m 28 weeks!” She looked at my dates and said, “No hon you’re 26 weeks and right on target!”
Seriously? How is that even possible? That is one of the biggest differences between my first pregnancy and my second. I was an entire two weeks off on how far along I was. And I have been so busy with a toddler that I didn’t even know it.
First pregnancies are magical. Second pregnancy’s are cool too, just way busier.
Caring for this little one is a lot of fun. But I’m so much busier with a toddler these days that I lose track of time.
In my first pregnancy, I could tell you to the day exactly how far along I was. Weekly belly selfies were taken every Sunday to mark my progress. I knew exactly how big my baby was in terms of vegetable size, weight and length.
I practically studied fetal development on a daily basis. Weekly emails were delivered to my inbox telling me each and every detail of our baby’s milestones. I knew the exact time when she could open her eyes, suck her thumb, hear noises from outside the womb and every other possible developmental detail.
During my first pregnancy I practiced yoga at a studio several times a week, alternating between Vinyasa and prenatal. Then I would watch Netflicks and chill, sometimes marathon style. After all, why not? I was pregnant and I had the time.
Also, I also read every single baby book ever published (fyi, Baby Knows Best and Bringing Up Bebe where my favorites!).
My husband and I even started taking weekly Bradley Method classes. Which didn’t help me at all during my emergency c-section at 33 weeks. But hey, I ultimately still got my healthy baby girl, so who cares?
My second pregnancy has been cool too, sans all the extra me time that I had with my first. Toddler care taking has replaced pretty much all of those activities this time around. That is how I ended of forgetting how far along I was by two entire weeks!
Busyness aside, I love being a mom and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Baby Boy has reached eggplant size. Yum!
I’m trying to enjoy the joys of pregnancy while they are here. Despite the weird symptoms, there is something so amazing about being pregnant.
I have joined the third and final trimester, yahoo!
Our amazing veggie is now 14 1/2 inches and weighs in at 2 1/2 pounds. Right on track! Nice job, little dude.
Even though I haven’t met my mini-man yet, he has definitely been making an impact in my life. Many of the symptoms of my first pregnancy have returned. I’m suddenly clumsy. I’m fatigued. I have heartburn at least once a day. And I have the worst pregnancy brain (so embarrassing).
In addition, I have even welcomed a brand new pregnancy symptom that I didn’t have last time: lovely varicose veins, on my left leg only. They are SO delightful, I tell you. Once the temperatures finally dip below 90 in Los Angeles I’m going to have to resort to daily compression stockings – toe to waist – for the remainder of the third trimester. Pregnancy sure knows how to make a women feel sexy!
Zoe is going to have big sister responsibilities soon.
Zoe is going to have big sister responsibilities soon!
I love watching how my little girl is reacting to my belly bump with amazement. She now looks at it and says “baby” in the cutest, innocent voice. I don’t think she fully grasps that there is an actual human is in there… yet. But we are trying to verbalize it to her and are reading her a few children’s books about becoming a big sister.
Tonight she was able to say “baby boy” which pretty much melted my heart. She is going to be an excellent big sister! I can’t wait.
I have a few goals to reach before childbirth.
We are only five weeks away from the time when I had Zoe via emergency C-section. Although I am planning on having a full term baby, truth is that you can’t always plan ahead. Therefore, I have a few goals I am presently working on in advance:
#1. Have a healthy full term baby.
I will be relieved to finally pass the 33 week mark. My doctor says the chances of having another placental abruption are extremely low, which is reassuring.
#2. Continue working as ER nurse until it makes sense to stop.
With the help of my nifty 30mm graduated compression stockings, I am going to continue working as an emergency room nurse until I am either:
a) too big, or
b) too exhausted, whichever comes first.
As a per diem registered nurse I am not granted disability or maternity leave benefits. I can take up to 6 months time without losing my position, but I receive zero compensation before or after childbirth. Once I’m out, I’m out for a while. So I’m trying to hang in until it makes sense for me to stay home.
#3. Figure out how to have a 2 year old and newborn share a bedroom without constantly waking one another up.
This one has been a real zinger for me as I can’t figure out how I’m going to make this work. The newborn will stay in our room for several months but then what?
If anyone has any tips on goal #3, I am all ears. Any expertise in this area is appreciated.
At the end of the day I am so thankful for a healthy, happy family.
Life is busy and tiring, but it’s all good. Pregnancy is a gift. Having children really is a miracle. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for a wonderful life and good health for my family and friends. That is the only thing that matters.
Thanks for reading.
Sarah, Mother Nurse Love
by Sarah Jividen | Dec 20, 2017 | Nurse Life, The-Motherhood
I will always be a working mom, at least part-time. And I don’t feel guilty about it. Not even a little.
In fact, I feel the opposite of guilt. For me personally, I think working as an emergency room RN has helped me be a more present and compassionate mother than if I didn’t work at all.
I see things that most other moms don’t see on a regular basis, like patients with critical injuries, long term illnesses, or chronically sick kids. As an emergency room nurse I help patients and their families through some of the worst moments of their lives. These experiences put things in perspective for me.
For every day I spend at the hospital, I gain more gratitude for having a healthy, happy family.
Don’t get me wrong. Being a working mom has its drawbacks and adds a lot of challenges to my life. As an RN, I work anywhere from 24 to 40 hours every week, which is time away from family. Fortunately, I found a little bit of a work-life balance by becoming a per-diem nurse. But I still see several important benefits to being a working mom that are keeping me in the workplace.
11 Reasons I Will Always Be A Working Mom
11 Reasons Why I Will Always Be A Working Mom:
#1. Since I don’t get to be home everyday, I never take my “stay-at-home mom” days for granted.
I absolutely LOVE my days off. I adore starting my mornings with a ten-minute toddler snuggle session, then heading down to make pumpkin pancakes for breakfast. We have time to play for a bit, read a few books, and then stroll to the park where we meet up with some of the other moms and toddlers from the neighborhood. My daughter takes a nap at 1pm, during which I also squeeze in a short nap. I relish in my “at home” days because I’m not always home.
There have been weeks where I didn’t work at all (like when our nanny went out of town for two weeks). I got so used to being home that I stopped appreciating being at home as much as when I didn’t do it everyday.
#2. I have a constant stream of intellectual stimulation.
Admittedly, I am a closet science geek. And I love the cerebral stimulation that I get as a nurse. I have had patients ranging from 2 days old to 108 years old. I have had the opportunity to see more disease states, complex injuries and unusual diagnoses then I ever could have imagined even existed.
It would not be an exaggeration to say I learn ten new things everyday at work. To top it off, I am surrounded by some of the most intelligent people I have ever met. Many of my co-workers have the same drive for helping people I do. They motivate me to keep learning.
#3. I love our nanny, and she is teaching our kids to speak Spanish.
I know women who didn’t want to work because they didn’t want someone else “raising their children.” I, however, do not see any competition whatsoever. And my child adores our nanny.
Most importantly, I am grateful for the different experiences that our nanny can give our daughter that I cannot, like teaching her Spanish. My baby is actually saying some of her first words in Spanish! The gift of bilingual speaking is not to be taken lightly, and will benefit her brain development, help her in school, and give her broad cognitive advantages compared to her non-bilingual peers.
#4. My resume is staying up-to-date as I continue to gain valuable work experience.
It is important for me to keep one foot inside of the career door. I have spoken to a lot of moms who took off up to five or more years to stay home and then couldn’t get hired again no matter how hard they tried. It is sad to say, but stay-at-home motherhood can be like a blow torch to a resume.
#5. I am a good role model for my kids.
There is a large 50,000 person Harvard study that has found that having a working mother is actually good for children, both for daughters and sons (I’m due with our son in a few short months!). The study found that women with working mothers “performed better in the workplace, earning more and possessing more powerful positions than their peers with stay-at-home mothers.” In addition, men whose mothers had worked outside the home at any point were “more likely to contribute to household chores and the care of family members.”
#6. My husband spends more one-on-one time with our daughter.
One of the benefits of being a working mom is that my husband spends more on-on-one time with our daughter. Engaged dads help kids flourish.
I work 12 hour shifts on Sundays, so my husband runs the house from 6am until our daughter goes to bed at 7:30pm (and also after 5pm on the other 1-2 days I am at the hospital). As a result, my husband is super involved with the day-to-day care of child rearing. He cooks, changes diapers, cleans, feeds the kitties, does bath time, plays with, reads to and keeps our daughter safe. (Their have been a few questionable outfit choices from time to time- but it’s adorable).
Engaged dads help kids flourish. Many dads I know wouldn’t even know what to feed their kids nor do they get the opportunity to form their own special routines. Men shouldn’t get “extra credit” for child-rearing, yet sometimes they do. In our house it is a more level playing field.
#7. Work enriches my marriage.
My husband can share pieces of his office drama with me and I always have a fascinating “I couldn’t make this up if I tried” story. Work makes it possible for me to discuss other interesting things besides play dates, toddler meal planning, diaper changes and shopping for kid stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE talking about my child. I could to it all day long. I just don’t think it really helps in the intimacy department. Conversing over interesting thoughts and stories is definitely more of a turn-on.
#8. Working keeps me disciplined.
If I stayed home every single day I would rarely shower or get out of yoga clothes until the evening. For work I wear scrubs and yes, those are kind-of like pajamas, but I still have to clean myself up and be presentable for co-workers and my patients.
Since I leave at 5:45am on work days and dont get home until 8:30pm, I am left with zero time for anything else except showers and food prep. Therefore I have to be more strategic and military-like in my scheduling about things like cleaning, shopping, meal planning, social events, and other general day-to-day activities. It forces me to be super-organized. And as a result, I am (almost) never late for anything. (Read more about how I prepare for a 12 hour shift as a registered nurse).
#9. My savings accounts are still growing rapidly.
Obviously, If I didn’t work I wouldn’t receive any paychecks. I’m not an over spender and fortunately my husband is able to pay all of our bills (except childcare- which I pay for). That means that the majority of what I make gets stocked away into different savings and investment accounts.
During the first 12 months after my maternity leave I was able to increase my personal net worth by 100K (my husband and I obviously share our money, but to make my point I am only talking about my accounts and contributions). This includes income from my paychecks and my retirement investments.
If I was to stay at home just for 5-10 years at this point in my life, I would literally be talking about millions of dollars lost over time, in savings alone. Especially after factoring in compounding interest. And I’m only working two 12-hour shifts a week a lot of the time! My work can make a significant monetary impact. I enjoy contributing to the financial future of our family.
(Read more about how I paid off 27K in student loan debt in under a year and how I saved money for my unpaid maternity leave).
#10. My kids wont grow up thinking I didn’t do anything.
Sadly, a mom’s work doesn’t get the kind of credit it should. Being a mom is a hard job. Unfortunately many kids don’t understand that being a stay-at-home mom is a job too. In some cases they grow up wrongly thinking that mom didn’t do anything. Conversely, they think dad did ALL the hard work because he worked outside of the home, which is a very unfair assessment. Talk about a double standard!
#11. My child is thriving.
Our daughter is already an amazing, smart, charismatic little lady. I hope that my husband and I continue helping her to be an independent, assertive human and the best version of herself that she can be.
This may be all in my head, but she is not even two yet and is already showing me that she has a good work ethic: she picks up her toys, helps with cooking in the kitchen (it gets messy, but who cares?), moves items around the house (redecorating maybe?) and even throws away her own diapers. And she is so proud of herself for these achievements.
I want her to continue building confidence by taking initiative, having the opportunity to learn through both winning and losing, and discovering the value of hard work. That, after all, is how we all grow and learn.
Do you have any thoughts about being a working mom? What are some of the benefits and issues that you have encountered?
Sarah, Mother Nurse Love
by Sarah Jividen | Dec 20, 2017 | Kid Safety, Mom Tips & Tricks, The-Motherhood
*This post contains affiliate links. For more information about my disclosure policy click here.
Do you have an emergency supply kit ready to go in a moment’s notice?
In 2017 the United States was hit by 3 of the largest hurricanes to have hit the US in over a century. Natural disasters will happen, but it seems as if there have been an unusual amount of them happening all at the same time.
These disasters are devastating. Hundreds of thousands of people have been left without basic resources such as food, water, or electricity and are in total crisis mode.
I had to ask myself, is my family prepared if we had a major emergency such as a natural disaster or terrorist attack?
What will you do if there is an emergency?
One of the best ways to prepare for an emergency is to have an emergency supply kit ready.
We live in Los Angeles County which means our home sits right in the middle of earthquake country. The experts have been saying that we are due for the “big one” at any time. We can’t predict when it will actually happen, of course. But we can do our best to prepare in case it does.
I like to think of myself as a person who is ready for an emergency. After all, I am an emergency room nurse. I’m used to dealing with some level of trauma and bodily injury during my twelve hour shifts. In the hospital we have all the training and supplies we need to be ready for (almost) anything.
I have plenty of first aid disposables stashed away in our garage. Sure, I can start some IV fluids, give CPR, or assist with injuries or first aid. But what about food? Water? Other emergency supplies? I really hadn’t given those much thought.
So this week I set out to research everything that I would need to make sure my family was prepared for disaster at home. I scored the internet long into the night after I put our daughter to bed. I read through FEMA, The CDC and The Department of Homeland Security’s recommendations for what my family would need in the case of an emergency. To my dismay, I realized that were not ready for an emergency. At all.
You can buy an emergency supply kit online.
There are lots of websites online that sell emergency supply kits. Many of them cost from $100 up into the thousands, which may not be affordable for some people. In addition, they still may not include all of the supplies you may need such as food, water, medications or other personal items.
American Family Safety is a great resource and they have customizable emergency kits for home and school.
If purchasing an emergency supply kit is not an option for you, why not build you own kit and customize it for your needs? I gathered the following information from several websites and I have resources listed at the bottom of this post.
What To Put In A Basic Emergency Supply Kit:
The dollar store is a great place to stock up on gallons of emergency water. In the wake of disaster it is likely that stores will run out of water and other supplies.
Water
The CDC and FEMA state that we should have a minimum of a three day supply of water and food for everyone in the family, including pets. This water is for both drinking and sanitation. Of course it never hurts to prepare with more.
You should have at least the equivalent of 1 gallon of water per person/per day. For our family of (almost) 4 that means we should have at least 12 gallons of water stashed away to have the minimum three day supply.
Food
It is possible that electricity could be out for several days in an emergency, which means perishables in the fridge and freezer will go bad. Cooking is also difficult without electricity so the foods should be “ready to eat.” In the case of a major emergency non-perishable foods become important for survival.
Emergency food supplies:
Sealed trail mix is a good non-perishable food to keep in your emergency kit.
- Canned fruits, veggies
- Canned beans, pastas
- Dry cereal, granola
- Nut butters
- Trail mix, dried fruits
- Protein bars, granola bars
- Non-perishable pasteurized milk
- Food for infants (formula, jars)
- Food for pets
The Department of Homeland Security’s website, Ready.gov states that you should try to avoid foods that make you thirsty, so you don’t end up drinking all your water.
Other emergency supplies:
- Flashlights
- First aid kit
- Cash
- Whistle (to signal for help)
- Moist towelettes or baby wipes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation
- Can opener
- Cell phone chargers and backup battery
- Medications
- Glasses, contact lens holder and solution
- Infant needs: diapers, wipes, bottles, formula
- Fire extinguisher
- A lighter or matches in a dry container
- Paper cups, plates, paper towels, utensils
- Paper, pencil
- Blankets, warm clothes
Keep these items in a designated place in your home and don’t use them unless there is an emergency. You don’t want to go to your stash in the event of a natural disaster to find that portions of your emergency kit are missing.
You can’t plan a disaster. But you can prepare for it. Take some time this weekend to prepare a basic emergency supply kit. You will thank yourself later for being responsible and taking care of your loved ones in advance of a disaster.
Do you have any additional thoughts on preparing an emergency supply kit? Or have you been through a disaster and have any recommendations to help be further prepared for a catastrophic event?
Sarah, Mother Nurse Love
Resources:
Ready.gov (Department of Homeland Security)
FEMA.gov
CDC Emergency
by Sarah Jividen | Dec 20, 2017 | Nurse Life, Nurse Mom Life, Nurse Money Goals, The-Motherhood
As an expecting Mother and registered nurse, I will soon be confronting one of the biggest downfalls to being a per diem RN: unpaid maternity leave.
In fact, as a per diem nurse, I receive absolutely zero benefits outside of my regular hourly rate.
So why be a per diem nurse, you ask?
Per diem nursing has been a game-changer for me because it gives me the scheduling flexibly I need to be a working Mom. Per diem means: for each day. As a nurse, I am literally employed “by the day.” Essentially, I can schedule myself to work any day I want.
Zoe is going to have a lot more responsibility soon in her next role as big sister.
I became a per diem nurse out of necessity due to scheduling and childcare issues. The telemetry unit I had been working on was unable to give me a set weekly schedule. This made it very difficult to secure a regular nanny or plan for daycare for our daughter.
Every month I would request the schedule I needed to make my childcare situation work. Unfortunately, I would inevitably still be scheduled on many days in which I had no childcare available to me.
I had a choice: continue to call-in sick and struggle to find alternative childcare. Or make a change that allowed me to have the flexibility I needed to be a working Mom. Ultimately, my husband and I made the decision that it was better to leave my career RN position in order to reap the much needed flexibility benefit of being a per diem nurse.
Still, there is something about this that infuriates me: I have been paying into maternity leave and disability benefits for almost 17 years. Now that I’m pregnant again and actually need maternity leave benefits, I’m no longer eligible for them. Oh, the irony!
Maternity leave: A financial drain
After baby arrives, I will be out for at least 8 weeks or longer so I can spend baby bonding time with our son. This will add up to a lot of money lost.
Just to make my point, here is a hypothetical, but very real situation:
Lets say I make a little over $1000 a day and I work 3 days a week. 3 days x $1000 = $3,000 per week. So just one week of unpaid maternity leave results in a $3,000 financial loss.
So far, the math is pretty simple. It doesn’t sound that horrible… yet.
But, if you multiply $3,000 a week by 8 weeks of maternity leave, that equals $24,000 in financial losses. And that’s if I only take off a measly 8 weeks of baby bonding time.
I will be taking more time then that so I can spend more time at home with our son. I think its important for his early development and luckily we can afford it.
And the financial losses continue to rise…
12 weeks = $36,000
16 weeks = $48,000
You get my point… It really starts to add up.
Additional time off before baby
I could be out of work for weeks or months before I give birth depending on how my pregnancy progresses in the third trimester. Nurses have very physically demanding jobs that often require grueling 12 hour shifts. There is a strong possibility that I may have to step out earlier then I would like.
We could be looking at 50k or more in financial losses depending on how early I have to stop working and how long I decide to stay home with our newborn.
Who knew having a baby was so costly for a working Mom in the United States? Even before factoring in medical expenses.
Unpaid maternity leave statistics in the U.S.
This is a very sleepy photo of Zoe and me in the NICU when she was a week old. Zoe arrived 7 weeks early. At 4.3 pounds we are incredibly luckily that she was as healthy as she was. Our doctors called her “tiny but mighty.”
It makes me so sad that I live in the only developed country in the world that doesn’t automatically offer paid maternity leave benefits to working women. In fact, 88% of employees have no access to paid maternity leave or paid paternity leave in the U.S.
The Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) guarantees by federal law that women are entitled up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off. However, many women still don’t even qualify for that if they work for a small employer or have been with that employer less then 1 year. What a shame.
What now?
Now that I have gotten my venting out of the way, it’s time to talk about a plan. The only thing left to do is try to make the best out of a crummy situation.
I am determined to make my maternity leave as positive and stress-free as possible, despite the financial drain of having no paid maternity leave.
Unpaid maternity leave: How to make it work!
#1. Open a new saving account dedicated to maternity leave.
One of the easiest ways to save money is to pay yourself first each paycheck through direct deposit. That way you don’t even see then money hitting your checking account. Liquid cash is good so you can use it when you need it.
Suzie Orman, one of my long-time favorite financial gurus says that you want to have as much money saved up for as many months as you plan to take off, as well as an 8 month emergency plan. You never know when an emergency can strike, for example, a medical emergency, a job loss or worse. The faster you can start saving into an account dedicated to maternity leave, the more prepared you will be when it comes.
#2. Make a budget and stick to it.
I prefer more of a no budget, budget strategy. Basically, I decide how much I want to save each paycheck and immediately transfer it into an online Barclays savings account as soon as payday comes. No muss, no fuss.
I am aware of everything I purchase and review it each month by using a program called Mint to track my expenses. If you aren’t using this, you should be. Since I have started using Mint I have watch my savings rate take off to a place I have never been able to before. It is amazing how much you can save when you know exactly where your money is going!
I’m always surprised at how many people I talk to who have no idea what they really spend in a month. Needless to say, this is a poor strategy for preparing for an unpaid maternity leave. You’ve got to have a plan.
#3. Make more money now or take on extra work.
If you are currently pregnant or even just thinking about it, now is a good time to take on extra hours at work. Especially if you are able to get overtime pay.
As a nurse, anything over 40 hours of work a week is considered overtime at my hospital. Is is very difficult for me to do more then that since I have my daughter at home, but I have done it a few times just to add a little more to my savings.
In addition, some holidays pay time-and-a-half rates. Therefore, I have been known to pick up shifts on Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving or even Christmas. Its not my favorite thing to do but my family handles it by celebrating these holidays on the day before or the day after the actual holiday. It adds up quite a bit when you are saving to be out for a few months.
#4. Discuss recurring expenses that you aren’t really using or don’t need.
Look at your expenses and see if there is anywhere that you can reasonably make a cut. Are you really using the 100$ a month gym membership? Or does it make more sense to take daily walks and do online yoga at home?
My husband and I talk about money a lot more then I think many other couples do. Saving money is all about establishing priorities and being on the same page. Talking about money has kept us in good financial health and kept us on the same page with our spending habits.
#5. Look at the easy ways to cut back.
Families dropping from a dual income to a single income usually need to trim expenses somewhere. Make a list of everything you are spending money on, and be honest with yourself about what is an actual need. Here are a few ideas to throw on the table:
- nix the coffee cart habit = save $4 a day
- pack your lunches = save $12 a day
- cancel the cable you are barely using anyway = save $80 a month
- cook your meals at home instead of ordering take out = potentially $100’s in savings per month (if you eat out a lot)
- go on a 3-6 month spending freeze on things that are not an actual “need” = $(fill in the space here)
Do you get my point? There is A LOT of money to be saved if you just pay more attention to what you are spending money on.
I do consider myself somewhat of an expert on “trimming the fat” on my own spending habits since paying off a large amount of student loan debt in a short amount of time. That experience is helping me prepare my unpaid maternity leave as well.
#6. Don’t fall for the baby registry trap.
There are so many items that I was told I had to have for baby #1. Many of them are “nice to have items” that I barely even used (uh hem, grocery cart baby cover used a mere 3 times!). Needless to say, many things from my baby registry are being stored away in our garage and will probably be given away practically new.
I remember looking through Pinterest at lists of “must haves” for a new Mom. They are long and mostly unnecessary. Stay away from those lists!
For example, I was told that I “needed” the newborn insert for our stroller. But for the first few months I was using her car seat in her stroller. By the time I actually went to use the insert she has already grown out of it. Same went for the ergo baby newborn insert- I didn’t even need it until she was to big to fit in it anyway.
If you actually need something, then go ahead and get it. These are just my thoughts as a second time Mom with baby registry regret. With the exception of a double stroller and a crib (which I will buy pre-owned), I can’t think of any other BIG items I will actually need for our new baby.
#7. Extra expenses to take into consideration:
I was so grateful for amazing baby bonding time with Zoe after she was born.
There will be some extra expenses after the baby is born. Some of the big ones for us are diapers, wipes, formula/food, and additional childcare. None of these things are cheap, so its good to be prepared for the expenses in advance.
You could always decide to go the cloth diaper route. I know people who have done this and it does save quite a bit if money. That, however, was not in our savings plan. There are some things of convenience that really are worth the money, and that was one for us.
Other big expenses include childcare enrichment classes (MyGym, recreation classes, music classes, ect..) if that is something you are interested in.
Childcare is our single biggest expense and we pay our nanny $240-$360 per week (for 2-3 days only). It would cost a lot more if I worked 5 days a week. I have friends who work full time and pay a nanny $750 or more in cash every single week. Day care is much cheaper but still a large expense.
I have read that the average baby costs their parents $300,000 from the time they are born until the time they turn 18. And that doesn’t even include a college education! I don’t know about you, but that really makes me think about how I budget our money.
#8. Think about the big picture.
Having a baby is one of the most amazing human experiences I have ever had. I absolutely love being a Mom. However, it can also be stressful at times, and it probably will be, even with the most thoughtful preparation.
At the end of the day you can only do the best you can. Saving for unpaid maternity leave is just one of the things I am doing to try and ease the financial loss that comes with having a baby. My plan is to eliminate as much stress as I can so I can joyfully relish in the awesomeness that comes with having a new baby.
Now, if only I could invent a healthy way to live on increments of 2 hours of sleep or less, I would be golden!
Additional Recommended Reading
10 Simple Ways To Help Your Toddler Prepare For A New Sibling
Silent Placental Abruption: Our Premature Birth Story
Why I Will Always Be A Working Mom
